All is relatively quiet, and we are sticking close to home, but not expecting any difficulties getting to the airport tonight. Staff have made a few forays to check out the scenes of the protest firsthand, and also the situation with traffic in general -- and with extensive police presence, all appears calm and under control. We will of course continue to monitor the situation, and report any difficulties (at this point, no news from here on will be good news!).
It's hard for all of us to digest the reality of our imminent return -- and I know we'll all work at processing the wealth of input we've taken in these last 2 months, for some time to come. With limited time before I need to take another action step, I'm going to cheat a bit and copy below a good portion of the "last email" I sent to parents and friends at the end of last year's trip. The end-of-the-trip reminders and recommendations remain pretty constant from year to year, though I promise to read through the pasted in portion and edit to make sure it applies this year. Time is just racing by now, yet I do know it's helpful for some to hear about what's below. So apologies to those parents of HS students on their second trip; some of this will seem pretty familiar:
Here are a few tips from past experience about helping the travelers re-adjust to what's "over there," perhaps a bit more relevant to the high schoolers' processing, though hopefully also helpful for others:
1. Communication. You will all, I'm sure, want to hear lots of detail about your dear ones' experiences. Some students will want to chatter away immediately; others will find it hard to put so much they have been through in words. It's impossible to predict who will handle this how - but the best advice I can give you is to be patient with them, whether they choose to talk right away or not. And to ask specific questions - not the oft-heard from those who aren't as close to them as you-all are, "How was your trip?" or even "How was India?" etc., but better, things like: "Tell me about Shivaratri;" "What did you like best about your time in Dharamsala?" "What did you think about what the Karmapa Lama had to say?" and so forth. Use some of the specifics I've given in my updates to home in on specific questions. You may still get brief, "It was fine" kinds of answers, but over time, I'm sure they will be increasingly able to elaborate. They all need time to process the incredible amount of input they've received - remember, one of the intentional goals of the trip is to so over-stimulate them that they can't possibly process it all, something that leads to a necessary re-ordering of their thinking, a new framework within which to locate a wealth of powerful and diverse experiences. This takes reflection, and time - many of the most meaningful lessons the trip has to serve up won't be grasped until weeks, or months, or in some cases years after they return.
2. Health. We've had the usual number of minor illnesses this trip, mostly upper respiratory and of course gastrointestinal. The air quality through the plains of northern India is always poor and challenging to the respiratory system, something initially exacerbated by the shift to the mountains and breathing the relatively thinner, though much cleaner, air there while moving more vertically than horizontally through town and its surrounds. In any case, most everyone has had at least one bout of stomach distress, and almost everyone has had at least a cold. All seem recovered now, though all will still need rest and simple, healthy food before they are feeling themselves again. None of the illnesses have been serious. If you would like more specific input about your child, please feel free to call me after I am home (360-378-5829).
3. Diet. Most everyone will want to dig into foods they are used to at home that they haven't been able to eat here - especially dairy foods and red meat. But because they haven't been eating these things for a long time, and they are challenging to the digestive system in any case, PLEASE help them resume eating this stuff SLOWLY. If they go for a big hunk of beef, or a lot of cheese and ice cream, etc, they will, I promise you, suffer for it. Another major goal for many will be fresh salads - and again, these can be harder to process, so help them see the value of working that back in to their diets slowly. As much as they would all like to take a break from rice and other soft foods, they need to make a transition, and should continue eating at least some of what they are now sick of, while slowly adding what they have been missing.
4. Sleep. They will all take a while to get back on West Coast time. They will be wide awake in the middle of the night, at least for a while, and unable to keep their eyes open at odd times of day. A while back, someone told me that a good rule of thumb for jet lag recovery (always worse, by the way, coming from West to East, against the sun, rather than the reverse) is that it will take approximately one day per time zone crossed to get back to sleeping and waking at the "usual" times - and my own experience has verified this many times. We cross 9 or 10 time zones coming home, and it usually takes me that many days to recover. Young people may snap back more quickly, but as with other things above, there really is no predicting how your particular child will work through this. Exercise helps - but again, a slow resumption of activities they may be used to performing with ease at home, things that may be frustratingly difficult for a while after return.
5. Reverse culture shock. Just as adjusting to Asian cultures has been challenging at many points along the way for all, adjusting to the "same ole, same ole" of home has its challenges. Insights and appreciations gained during the trip take time to find a place in a new way of seeing old things at home. Many will be overwhelmed by several aspects of American culture - a common experience is disgust at our overly-consumptive, wasteful society. A trip to the grocery store, and the confrontation of the amazing amount of what's available, over-packaged, and in multiple varieties/choices, can be hard to take early after returning. Sometimes assessments of our way of life get terribly judgmental. These experiences can be depressing. In some cases, even more depressing will be the resumption of old habits - kids find themselves buying back in to ways of being they now see as greedy and insensitive, and then get down on themselves for doing so. The pendulum swings - but it will find it's balance point eventually.
6. New-found independence. This one is particularly relevant to the highschoolers' experiences. They have in fact experienced themselves as capable, independent operators in the world - they know they can handle a wide variety of challenges, because they have managed themselves through so much. So it can be hard to accept old limits - curfews, communication about where they go, who they're with, when they expect to return, etc. This does NOT mean that you should exempt them from all those reasonable expectations - just realize that they will want to be credited with how much they have gained and grown through all they've achieved during this trip. They have, in fact, "grown up" a good deal during the course of this trip, and they've all begun to think of themselves as more mature than they were. Find a way, if you can, to grant them additional freedom - as long, of course, as they continue to demonstrate the concurrent and necessary responsibility we all (though not always teenagers) understand must go hand in hand with freedoms and privileges.
Obviously, if there is one common thread to all of the above, it's the importance of being patient - with them, and by them. Realize that if and when they get cranky and frustrated, it will be a temporary thing. So many good things have been achieved by each and every one of them, and they need to be given, and to give themselves, credit for what they've achieved. And for the high school parents: know that there will be individual conferences with each of you, during which we will go into much more detail about your child's performance on the trip. In the meantime, and for parents and friends of the college kids, do feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns.
It's been a great privilege to accompany your loved ones on this most profound and transformative of journeys. Thank you again for all that you have done to make it possible.
Most gratefully - and Sawadee-ka,
Peg
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